


Black Cat

by alenie



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Animal Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief, M/M, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 12:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4876456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alenie/pseuds/alenie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve mourns the death of a neighborhood cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Cat

Something’s wrong with Steve.

Bucky’s looking out the window and he can see Steve’s car in the parking lot, with Steve still inside it. He’d gotten back from the grocery store five minutes and he’s been sitting in his car ever since. The ice cream’s gonna start melting if he doesn’t come inside soon.

Another couple of minutes, and Bucky’s just about to head outside and find out what’s going on when Steve gets out of the car, moving slowly. He’s too far away for Bucky to make out his expression and Bucky steps back from the window before he can get closer, not wanting Steve to catch him watching.

He’s aimlessly messing around in the bedroom when he hears the door open and close and the familiar rustle of grocery bags as Steve sets them on the ground to sit on the bench next to the door and take off his shoes.

“Hey, want some help with--” Bucky begins, wandering out of the bedroom, only to cut himself off when he gets a look at Steve’s face. 

Steve’s crying. Tears are rolling down his face and dripping off his chin as he bends over to untie his shoes.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky says, shocked, and drops to his knees next to Steve, trying to get Steve to look at him. “Why’re you crying?”

Steve shakes his head and futilely wipes at his face.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” he says, and shoves his shoes onto the rack, picks up the bags, and heads into the kitchen. Bucky trails behind him. Steve starts getting things out of bags and putting them away, all the while silently crying.

“Steve, talk to me,” Bucky pleads. “You’re freaking me out.”

Steve puts the milk in the fridge and stops with his back to Bucky, his spine a defensive line, his fingers curled tightly around the fridge handle.

“Steve,” Bucky says again, desperately, and rests his hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Hey. C’mon.”

Steve’s silent for a long moment, long enough that Bucky worries that Steve’s going to keep shutting him out, and then he makes a noise like a sob and turns, wrapping his arms around Bucky’s middle and pushing his wet face into Bucky’s neck. 

“Aw, hell,” Bucky murmurs. Steve doesn’t usually cry so easy-- it must be something real bad to make him let go like this, to be this quick to accept comfort. “You gonna tell me what happened?”

He can feel Steve breathing fast and hot against his neck. “Black Cat’s dead,” Steve sobs out, and starts crying harder.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Steve’s trembling against him. “Let’s go sit down, okay?” He feels rather than sees Steve’s nod, and half-carries him over to the couch. Once they’re cuddled up together, with Steve tucked between the arm of the couch and Bucky’s body, his face hidden in Bucky’s shoulder, he starts talking again.

“He was just lying there dead in the middle of the road,” Steve says, his tears steadily wetting Bucky’s t-shirt. “And I didn’t even stop the car, I just kept driving. What if he was still alive? What if I could’ve gotten him help?”

“Don’t blame yourself.” Bucky starts rubbing Steve’s back, stroking over the bony knobs of his spine. “It sounds like he was past help.”

“I saw another car stop,” Steve admits. “They were checking on him, I think. I didn’t get a good look. It was too much, I couldn’t--”

“Hey, hey,” Bucky soothes. “There wasn’t anything else you could’ve done, okay?” He pets at Steve’s hair, brushing it back from his forehead. “I’m so sorry you had to see that.”

“It was awful,” Steve says, his voice rising hysterically, the prelude to a fresh wave of tears. “He was just lying there, and all the cars were driving past him--”

He holds Steve while he cries, and eventually he wears himself out, leaning heavily against Bucky. Bucky maneuvers them so they’re lying down together, Steve tucked securely into his arms. He tugs down the throw blanket from over the back of the couch and drapes it over them. Steve sighs, his eyes barely open.

“Just rest a little,” Bucky says quietly. “I’ve got you.”

He lets Steve nap for an hour, his body a reassuring weight over Bucky’s own. He allows himself to mourn the death of Black Cat, a few tears slipping out to run down his cheeks. He’s only seen Black Cat once, on a rare morning when he didn’t sleep in, but he knows how much Steve enjoyed watching him out their window in the early mornings before class.

It’s about four, and he knows Steve has to be on campus by five, so he slips his hand up the back of Steve’s t-shirt, feeling that warm, smooth expanse of skin under his hand.

“Time to wake up, baby,” he says in Steve’s ear, his hand rubbing steady circles into Steve’s lower back. Steve wakes up slow, making little grumpy noises, rubbing his face against Bucky’s chest. He fits so nicely under Bucky’s chin.

“Time’s it?” he asks groggily.

“Just after four.”

Steve sighs. Bucky kisses the top of his head. 

“I love you,” he says.

“Love you too,” Steve says back automatically, sounding like he’s still half-asleep. “Mmm. Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t wanna get up yet.”

“Okay,” Bucky agrees. “We can stay here a little longer.” He doesn’t want to get up either. It’s cosy in their blanket nest, and he’s not ready to let go of Steve. He’s got both hands up the back of Steve’s shirt now, not trying to start anything, just touching for the sake of it.

Steve dozes on him for another ten minutes before he reluctantly disentangles himself from Bucky and goes into the bathroom to wash his face and get ready to leave. Bucky packs him a snack to take with him. Just an apple and a granola bar, nothing fancy, but Steve won’t be back until after seven and he’ll need something to eat. They share a brief kiss when Bucky hands it over.

“You’ll be okay?” he asks. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I’ll be all right,” Steve says, giving Bucky a small, lopsided smile. “Thanks, Buck.”

Bucky worries on and off the whole time Steve’s gone, in between doing the dishes and starting the laundry and getting dinner prepped and in the oven. But at ten after seven Steve walks in the door, looking tired and hungry but otherwise okay. Bucky kisses him hello and ruffles his hair, which Steve always pretends he hates even though they both know otherwise.

After dinner--which Steve makes a good effort on, but doesn’t manage to finish--it starts to rain. It takes Steve a while to notice, since his hearing’s not all that great, but when it really starts pouring he picks his head up from where he was typing away at his laptop and stares in the direction of the window.

“It’s raining?” 

“Yep,” Bucky confirms.

“Okay,” Steve says and looks back down at his laptop. Bucky thinks that’s the end of it, but ten minutes later he realizes that Steve’s side of the room has been oddly quiet, no clacking of keys or shuffling of papers.

He glances over. Steve’s face is wet with silent tears and he’s staring determinedly down at his laptop like he can will himself into not being sad.

“ _Steve_ ,” Bucky says, heartbroken, and drops his book and goes over to Steve on the bed. Steve comes to him easily this time, folding into Bucky’s side.

“The rain,” Steve explains haltingly. “I just. What if he’s still out there? It’s raining. He’ll get all wet.”

Bucky blinks hard to keep the threat of tears at bay, and tries not to picture rain-soaked black fur. “C’mon, don’t think like that. It won’t do you any good.”

“I don’t want him to be wet,” Steve says, voice breaking.

“I know, baby.” He kisses Steve’s temple. “Would it help if we made him a memorial? So he knows he’s missed.”

Steve nods against his shoulder, and Bucky holds him tighter, and they sit in silence and listen to the rain together.


End file.
